i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
