I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
