I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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