Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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