Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
