sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
