Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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