As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
we should paint friendship bongs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
