I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
