Plan B is the new Plan A
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
