If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
