i barfeds in our rink
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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