Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There r osticjed everywhere
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
