My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
