2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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