Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
