I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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