I never want to see another naked old woman again.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
