So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
