found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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