hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
