We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
