Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
