absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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