That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
