I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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