He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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