It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
