you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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