apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
