Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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