I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
