well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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