I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
