Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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