i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
