I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
