If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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