You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
