You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
