It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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