The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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