the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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