The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
