she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
