I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My feet surprised me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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