Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
