I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
