I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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