What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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