She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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