Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
