he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
