I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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