You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
