you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you had me at cake vodka
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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