The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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