lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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