I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
