my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
