therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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