alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is wine microwaveable?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
