I didn't shave. On purpose
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
