I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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