dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You don't make any sense
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