so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
