before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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