I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
