you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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