I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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