Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
