shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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